By Jackie Dollinger

So comes another morning.

Time for my mind to face another day of swirling lollipops and sexual colors,

to open my eyes again into a world of yellow haze,

where temptations lurk and conscience pulls.

Where tender curves meet ridged stones

The brilliant morning sunshine holds my hand.

In the arms of a warm summer breeze,

I free my mind of ego.

I am a virgin, pure and white.

My mind is expanded and the simple colors of a new day make me smile.



what a faded memory.

When laughter meant dolls and tickles,

and pain meant a skinned knee,

when tears were wiped away by mommy,

and daddy’s kiss tucked me into bed.

When did I lose that comfort?

I push the thought far away as I am sadly accustomed to doing,

For this moment,

I am innocent.

I am a munchkin in a sandbox with natural imagination that time has stolen from me.

My eyes are lit with wonder as everything in this big world passes by me.

Swirls of pink party hats and simple friendships,

where color meets sound and sound meets mind,

when life was an array of melting snow cones and love.

The mind is fascinating.

I am a naked little girl running through a sprinkler,

jumping in the mud,

yet all the time,

a dominatrix with a heart of steel.

I lift my fingers to my mouth.

My lips meet my security,

a deep pull on my cigarette,

an exhale with my head against my hands.

This reminds me of my brick wall,

of the ridged stones my reality has left me with.

I am a naked little girl running through a sprinkler,

I am a naked woman bathing in the sun.

Oil on my skin as men and women fantasize about me,

a sexual power knowing I am being noticed.

My desires are not pure and my virginity is a faint memory of the past.

The sparkling morning sunshine reflects off my curves.

A beautiful woman walks by and thinks I am the sexiest thing she has ever seen.

She will go home,

and think of me alone-

I will do the same.

We will make love in our dreams, and I will deceive her in the morning.

Innocence lost and temptations pull.

Laughter is 5 shots of tequila,

and pain is a heart who no longer knows who she is,

and all the while,

knows more clearly than ever.

Where tears drip lonely,

and daddy’s kiss is miles away.

I’m in a world where imagination stands besides chemicals.

Again my eyes are lit with wonder as the world passes me by,

melting walls and the color of music ease the soul.

Where color meets sound and sound meets mind,

but only for a moment…

I must return as a rat in a maze,

each turn is destiny or doom.

From snow cones to orgasms.

From jumping in the waves,

to making love on the beach.

From trust to betrayal.

From boys to girls.

From laughter to tears.

So comes another evening.

A deep drag off my cigarette puts me to bed.



Jackie Dollinger is a 21 year old University of Vermont Student.


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