People say they're sorry...
and through my tears I wonder why,
because they didn't cause his death.
People say they know just how I feel...
and I want to scream
and shake them
and tell them they're idiots,
because they don't know.
People say they've had loved ones die...
and I wonder
how they can laugh.
People say there are stages I'll be going through...
but no one understands
the possibility of pain-free insanity
begins to look like a good escape.
People say everything happens for a reason...
but there's not
one good reason for this.
There must be some kind of mistake...
People say life goes on...
but if I can't deal with life
can I just shut the door?
People say I need to go on...
but there's no such thing
as being normal anymore.
People say I should get rid of his things...
and I can't decide whether
to escape the memories
or cling tightly to them.
People say it helps to know other people who are going through the same
thing I am...
but it won't.
There was only one you.
So it's not the same.
People say that I will heal and again have a whole life...
but they must be blind
because there are not enough pieces
of me left
to put back together.
One person said that maybe just holding on is enough right now...
and I wonder what will happen
if I can't hold on any longer.
One person said that maybe writing will help...
so I am...
and I've begun to hope
that the people are right...
and I will someday
My husband and I own a
small breakfast and lunch restaurant. We have four children. Other than
writing, I enjoy reading and traveling.