by
Kara L.C. Jones + ideas
from Nancy Grayson (MISS
Idaho Chapter)
"Motherhood
is an eternal place within
your heart...a sacred
place that belongs to
you. Deep within the
very essence of your
existence, you are all
mothers, whether you
have living children
or not-- you're still
mothers-- beautiful and
loving mothers. And while
you may not be able to
care for your child/children
on earth, that sacred place
of motherhood remains
within you. Remember
always that the love
of a mother is stronger
than any other force
in the universe. The
love of a mother transcends
death."
~Joanne Caccitore,
Founder of the MISS Foundation
The same goes for the dads
who must endure Fathers
Day next month, too!
These dreaded "Hallmark
Holidays" that happen
each Spring can be so
hard on bereaved parents.
Those who have no other
living children are likely
to be forgotten all together.
Those who have surviving
or subsequently born,
living children, will
most likely be recognized
for the part of their
parenthood that is seen,
thereby fracturing their
experience of these "celebrations."
The best you can do on
these days -- heck, on
any day of the year --
is to be gentle with yourself.
Know that it is okay to
do something or do nothing.
Know that you can change
your mind half way through
the day. Know that you
can make this a "self-care"
opportunity instead of
a disasterous "must do"
obligation.
When Julia Ward Howe
wrote the first Mothers
Day Manifesto, it was with
the goal of gathering bereaved
mothers whose sons had
died in the Civil War to
protest for peace. Hallmark
did not start this holiday.
They do not own it. They
are only part of it. And
Julia Ward Howe's part
of it is much more in keeping
with the true sense of
parenthood, of how we carry
our children's lives and
deaths with us in everything
we do.
If nothing else, please
know that you aren't alone
on the dreaded days. Many
other bereaved parents
are out here hangin' on,
too. And Nancy Grayson
was kind enough to give
us the following list of
ideas! Maybe one of these
will spark for you, offer
you an idea for how to
do what is best for your
on these difficult days:
What to do on Mother's
day...Ideas from Nancy
Grayson
- Plan and do something
for Mother's day - A
special meal or activity
- Buy
yourself a Mother's day
card 'from your MISSing
child' and write a note,
seal it and save
it.
- Plant flowers or a
rose bush in
your yard / garden,
- Proudly
wear a corsage
(Wal-Mart & Albertson's
both have
lovely orchids corsages)
to church, dinner out
or anywhere.
- Visit
your child's grave site,
or another calming place.
- Light
a candle for you and
your child.
- Mark
this day with a keepsake;
an uplifting book, jewelry,
or a cozy blanket.
- Have
a plan B to plan A
- just in case it's too
much this year. Anticipation
of the 'day' seems to
be harder than the actual
day, allow for that possibility.
- It's OK to sit out
activities and just have
a good cry.
- Buy extra soft tissue
and take good care.
Kara is a freedom fighting
guerrilla artist who has
recently taken to henna
as a solace and form of
expression. Check out her
new site at: HennaHealing.com
Nancy and Peter Grayson
- Joel's Mom & Dad
MISS Foundation Idaho programs:
Mothers and Dads in Sympathy & Support
missfoundationidaho@msn.com 208.861.2407
www.missfoundation.org
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