Critical Thinking Skills
During a Crisis:
"Change is an emotional issue, not an intellectual one."
This is a statement presented in a current class by my facilitator. I disagree. I believe change equally hits emotional and intellectual aspects of decision making. When someone is facing change in his or her life, yes, it will be emotional; however, most people will also look at the entire situation to intellectually come to a decision that will help them with the change regardless of emotions. Let me share a particular example to illustrate my point:
There are events in life that are inevitable for change where we have no control to prevent them from happening such as death. When I lost my Son, I was faced with numerous decisions. It was a very emotional time for me. I was struggling with my grief, and I had to make difficult yet level-headed decisions on my own without much help from others.
Planning a funeral is not an easy decision making process. You have the funeral director trying to make a sale and profit from your loss, while you are sitting there trying to decide if cremation or casket is the best option for burial. I didn't know many of my options and I researched it with little time to spare.
I opted to have my Son cremated to keep his ashes with me until my own death. However, I also wanted the opportunity to say goodbye to my Son during the funeral before his cremation. The funeral home wanted me to purchase a casket for the funeral services and have him cremated in that. At the time, they told me that was my only option. I disagreed and did some research. It is not mandatory to purchase a casket for a funeral and/or cremation for a baby. A casket is a rather costly item let alone the expenses that come with the loss of a baby. I was on a limited budget at the time; you can't get life insurance on a baby that was stillborn. All the costs of this experience were totally out of pocket expenses.
Having a funeral for my Son seemed so unnatural....babies shouldn't die, but they do. It was difficult enough to know I will have to continue life without Charles. I did not want my final memories of him being in a casket. So, my Pastor gave me an antique wooden doll's cradle donated by the church for Charles to rest in during the funeral. I was able to create some beautiful memories with my Son by having a pleasant atmosphere. We took photos and I was able to hold Charles. It was very easy emotionally and physically to take him in and out of a cradle rather then a casket.
Facing the loss of my first child forced me into my life being changed forever. I have had to make many more decisions since that first week of my loss regarding my journey with bereavement. I make these decisions based on my love for Charles; however, I also use my intelligence, common sense and critical thinking to come to a reasonable solution.
Editor's note about the