Poems from TendernessTour
by Rev. Richard Propes

A Poem For My Unborn Child
by Rev. Richard Propes

You would have been 14 years old this year
a beautiful young girl starting high school
angry at me because I wasn't quite ready
for my little baby to be dating.

You would have been as beautiful
as the day you were born
capturing the energy and excitement
of your mother
and the passion and creativity
of your father.

You would have remembered me today
like noone else does
because I would have devoted my entire life
to reminding you
of your brilliance
and wonder
and worth.

There are no exceptions
to my love for you
even without you in my arms
where you belong.

You will always be beautiful to me
living joyously inside my heart
reminding me that love never dies
and that I will always be a daddy to you.

by Rev. Richard Propes

The child whispered softly
in my ear "Tell me about the angels again,"
crawled up on my lap,
curling herself against my shoulder
as I held her tiny hands
and told her of the angels
that protect her
as she sleeps
from the monsters
beneath her bed.

"Sleep with angels, my baby"
I whispered to her softly
as her weary eyes
surrendered to the dreams
awaiting her arrival.

by Rev. Richard Propes

recognizing that I don't deserve to be

Healing is
restoring my spirit
my faith
my belief
in myself and others
as well as
my capacity to be human
and experience joy
and childlike wonder.

Healing is a process
that cannot be manipulated
to fit the needs
of my therapist
my family
my abuser.

Healing is a lifelong
to myself
and a willingness
to experience my shame
and risk my trust
and test my boundaries
time and time again.

Healing is the recognition
my scars are deep
and will come back to me
through the years
sometimes regressing me
back to the days of the young child
cowering in the corner of my closet.

Healing is the admission of my memories
to myself and others,
even the most shameful parts
of my personal history.

Healing is the conscious return to life
the memories I fought for years
to destroy.

Healing is playing
with the essence of my being
and putting together
pieces of a puzzle
with no clue what the final result
will even look like.

Healing is grieving
immense losses
I have experienced
and acknowledging that which might have been
and may now never be.

Healing is to be nurtured
and surrounded with those I can trust
and who are safe
so I can be myself
enough to discover the strength
I truly possess.

Healing is breaking the cycle
by acting on my own truth
and erasing the messages
of my perpetrator
by embracing my journey
and fearlessly walking to freedom.

Healing is feeling
all my feelings
despite the hurt
the contradiction
the overwhelm
the loss of control.

Healing is loyalty
to myself
and freedom from years of bondage
to my abuser.

Healing is a return to innocence
through listening
to my child
my child.

Healing is trusting myself
enough to know I will find
my way home
and need not be alone through this process.

Healing is becoming proud
of being a man
and defining my masculinity
to fit my own needs.

Healing is my way of acknowledging
I am special
I am wonderful
I am beautiful
I am priceless in my existence
I am that which I've always dreamed I'd become.

About the Author
Visit the Tenderness Tour website at http://www.tendernesstour.com for more information.

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