Poems
from TendernessTour
A Poem For My Unborn Child
You would have been 14 years
old this year
a beautiful young girl starting
high school
angry at me because I wasn't
quite ready
for my little baby to be
dating.
You would have been as beautiful
as the day you were born
capturing the energy and
excitement
of your mother
and the passion and creativity
of your father.
You would have remembered
me today
like noone else does
because I would have devoted
my entire life
to reminding you
of your brilliance
and wonder
and worth.
There are no exceptions
to my love for you
even without you in my arms
where you belong.
You will always be beautiful
to me
living joyously inside my
heart
reminding me that love never
dies
and that I will always be
a daddy to you.
SLEEP WITH ANGELS
The child whispered softly
in my ear "Tell me
about the angels again,"
crawled up on my lap,
curling herself against
my shoulder
as I held her tiny hands
and told her of the angels
that protect her
as she sleeps
from the monsters
beneath her bed.
"Sleep with angels,
my baby"
I whispered to her softly
as her weary eyes
surrendered to the dreams
awaiting her arrival.
HEALING IS
recognizing that I don't
deserve to be
hurt
verbally
physically
sexually
emotionally
spiritually.
Healing is
restoring my spirit
my faith
my belief
in myself and others
as well as
my capacity to be human
and experience joy
and childlike wonder.
Healing is a process
that cannot be manipulated
to fit the needs
of my therapist
my family
my abuser.
Healing is a lifelong
commitment
to myself
and a willingness
to experience my shame
and risk my trust
and test my boundaries
time and time again.
Healing is the recognition
my scars are deep
and will come back to me
through the years
sometimes regressing me
back to the days of the
young child
cowering in the corner of
my closet.
Healing is the admission
of my memories
to myself and others,
even the most shameful parts
of my personal history.
Healing is the conscious
return to life
the memories I fought for
years
to destroy.
Healing is playing
with the essence of my being
and putting together
pieces of a puzzle
with no clue what the final
result
will even look like.
Healing is grieving
immense losses
I have experienced
and acknowledging that which
might have been
and may now never be.
Healing is to be nurtured
and surrounded with those
I can trust
and who are safe
so I can be myself
vulnerable
enough to discover the strength
I truly possess.
Healing is breaking the
cycle
by acting on my own truth
and erasing the messages
of my perpetrator
by embracing my journey
and fearlessly walking to
freedom.
Healing is feeling
all my feelings
despite the hurt
the contradiction
the overwhelm
the loss of control.
Healing is loyalty
to myself
and freedom from years of
bondage
to my abuser.
Healing is a return to innocence
through listening
to my child
finding
hearing
believing
my child.
Healing is trusting myself
enough to know I will find
my way home
and need not be alone through
this process.
Healing is becoming proud
of being a man
and defining my masculinity
to fit my own needs.
Healing is my way of acknowledging
I am special
I am wonderful
I am beautiful
I am priceless in my existence
I am that which I've always
dreamed I'd become.
About
the Author
Visit the Tenderness Tour
website at http://www.tendernesstour.com
for more information.
