A Bereaved Parent's Journal Entry
by Katie Smith

Subject: Dreams
Date: May 11, 2003

I had a dream a few weeks ago. My Son was being cared for by his Uncle.

I haven't seen my brother, since he left this world over ten years ago. He told me that they were both okay. I wanted to see my Son, but he told me that wouldn't be possible right now. I hugged my brother; I felt his warmth. The dream was as real as life itself. I asked him not to leave us again, but he said he had to go. Charles was calling for him. He turned around as he was leaving and stated that he would be back with Charles another time. A few days later, I had another vivid dream. My brother returned with Charles. He wasn't that tiny baby anymore. He appeared to be of the age of a healthy living child at age 3. That is how old my beautiful Son would have been on this Mother's Day. Charles hugged me and said, "I love you, Mommy!"

I didn't want to let him go, but Charles said he had to go home. I kept saying, "But you're home, honey." He looked at me as if I didn't understand. My brother took him out of my arms and they disappeared as quickly as they came. And then I woke up. I woke up to a quiet house without my Son. I haven't had any dreams of him since the first year after I lost Charles. I haven't even dreamt of my brother for several years. I woke up with mixed emotions. I wished the dream didn't end. I wish I could have held him longer. I felt like the dream meant that my Brother and Son are in a better place. They are safe and happy. They will be in that safe place that I call Heaven waiting for me to eventually join them. May peace and love surround them with warmth until that time comes. I miss them dearly. I will hold them close to my heart forever and always.

Charles' Everlasting Imprint on my Heart
by Katie Smith, Charles' Mom in Honor of Mother's Day 2003

Caring Spirit
Heavenly Love
Angelic presence
Really precious
Loved Forever
Eternal Peace
Sweet as Pie

The love for my Son will live on within me forever and always!


About the Author
Katie Smith is the co-editor of the KotaPress Loss Journal, a working member of Neo Fight, co-founder of the IN MISS Chapter, bereaved mommy to Charles, and so much more. (We at KotaPress are continually grateful for her help and insights!!)

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