by Kara L.C. Jones
After
the Loss of Your Baby: For Teen Mothers
by Connie Nykiel
Also available in Spanish.
This 25-page chapbook is an amazing resource for a particular segment
of bereaved parents who are sorely underserved! And I actually think it
is an amazing resource for any bereaved parent, but it is geared to teen-aged
moms who endure the death of a baby. Author Connie Nykiel is generous
with her tenderness, honesty, and understanding in this book. It is beautifully
printed and well worth the $5 it might cost you!!
Nykiel offers helpful information like medical definitions for miscarriage
and stillbirth and more -- let me tell you that I get these questions
from adults all them time, too! Nykiel talks about what to expect, what
to ask for, about grandparents, about trying again, and she is just generally
a FAB advocate for the teen parents in this book. I cannot tell you enough
how valuable this work is.
At the end of the book, Nykiel offers resources for further help and
adds a few pages that just stunned me! Blank pages marked "Thoughts..."
and "Poems..." and "Letter To My Baby" -- hello!!!???
Every single handout for bereaved parents of any age should be so encouraging!
The edition I have of this book says "3rd edition" and has
a publication date of 1996 -- and even then, Nykiel had the forethought
to include a certificate at the back of the book for the bereaved parents
to fill in baby's name, birth/death date, location of birth or memorial
service, names of those in attendance. HELLO!!??? WOW!!!!!! Don't know
if she was purposely trying to make up for the lack of a birth certificate
or not. But I remember asking for some sort of certificate and being told
that my baby's fetal death certificate would come in the mail. How demeaning
and awful! And what a beautiful, simple way for Nykiel to address that
here by offering the beautiful, blank certificate at the back of her book!
Kudos all the way around for this resource! And it's available in Spanish!
And it should be in every hospital, birth center, and midwife office on
the planet!!!
Kara lives on Vashon Island which is a much more awesome place than she
ever imagined it would be. She is a poet, bookmaker, wife, teacher, bereaved
mom, facilitator, receptionist, founder, struggling p.t.barnum, turtle
faithful, editor, artist, and a million other things that will prevent
you from putting her in any one particular label box! Kara teaches through
local art centers, artists in the schools programs, KotaPress and independently.
To find out more about her, see:
http://www.KotaPress.com/kara/karajones.htm
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