Tonight at the football game...
by Gail Lindekugel

Tonight at the football game I saw them coming, walking down the side lines, a group of robust seventh graders. Broadening shoulders, changing voices, rumbling along, laughing and stealing looks at girls. For a moment I could picture him there, my Levi, forever 9, with his buddies, Steve, ants and Myles the seventh graders. Would he be tall? What girl would be secretly like...? Would be a sassy strong willed teen ager, I'd like to think so...

Life has gone on, seeing my son's friends who have erupted into teenagers seemingly just over the summer, is my living proof. Nearly 4 years have passed since we said goodbye for now to our son.
His memory is my constant companion, my back ground music all day long everyday. It has settled down to a dull roar most days, I can focus on other tasks along with grieving, maybe i'm good at it now...

but it never fades, who Levi was, his place in the world, where he would be, who he would be will always be an unanswerable sacred mystery to me.

His friends will grow taller and wiser, the day they graduate from high school...the days news of college graduations, jobs, and then marriages and babies will all be sharp jolts of what should of been, could of been if only cancer had not come to call.

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