Discussion on Kota's Yahoo Group
by Kara L.C. Jones

Some time ago, we set up a group at Yahoo for KotaPress. Originally, I was going to use it as a way to manage the eNewsletter mailing list. But it never worked out that way. Now, for the past few months, we've been using it as an extended safe-space from this site, a place to share and discuss, one bereaved parent to another.

We are, so far, a small group. And I do keep the group as a "moderated" one. But any bereaved parent is welcome to join and free to post as they wish. I keep the group "moderated" only so that I can maintain it as a safe space for all of us. If any odd posts or members show up, I will bounce them. There will be no pathologizing of grief, there will be no judgement here, there will be no "my grief is better than yours" kind of game. This is a space for discussion. Just open space to talk and share what we cannot share with others in our lives for one reason or another.

An example of what I mean, is this: After you have a child die, it is very hard to deal with newly pregnant women who still have that "innocent" part of them that plans nurseries and baby showers. You cannot go to that pregnant woman and lay your fears or cynicism on her, right? So what do you do with all your thoughts and frustrations about that? You talk to other bereaved parents who totally understand. At least in my experience in this group, they understood me when I said that my reaction to a pregnant woman who has had a child die previously, is *completely different* than my reaction to a first-time pregnant woman who dares to plan and have baby showers!

So I'd like to invite you to surf over and join the group if you, too, would like a space to safely chat and admit all the facets of grief and grace in your life. Please send us all an introduction message after your membership is approved. It's good to get to know folks when they join. And I'm sure you'll quickly hear back from the rest of us as we welcome you and introduce ourselves, too.

See you there!

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