Poetry from Grief
poems by Ellen DuBois

My Angel Baby

When I found out you were there-
growing inside of me,
I was surprised and a little scared-
of how our life would be.

But, I loved you from the moment-
I knew that you were there.
Even though we hadn't planned you-
I felt joy beyond compare.

And then one day I noticed-
that I did not feel right.
My sister to my rescue-
to save me from this plight.

A cold and sterile table-
I sat upon in fear.
The doctor looked for you-
and found that you weren't there.

God wanted you my little one-
not on this earthly plane.
Not a day has passed my dear one-
that I haven't felt the pain.

He said you weren't "viable."
I asked, "What does that mean?"
He replied you were not living-
and my heart began to scream.

For sixteen weeks I had you-
warm within my womb.
And although I'll never know you-
My love's as constant as the moon.

My arms will never hold you,
your eyes I will not see-
I'll never feel you sleeping
so softly upon me.

Sometimes there are no answers
to the tragedies in life.
I must believe that God-
knew the moment wasn't right.

So much time has passed-
since that empty, lonely time.
But even as I write this,
my eyes with tears do shine.

But please remember precious one-
in Heaven up above-
You'll always be my Angel Baby-
You'll always have my Love.


Goodbye My Sweet Pet

Pets become a part of our hearts-
we adopt them as family right from the start.
We cast all our love on their kind, gentle souls,
but, like you and I- they too, grow old.

When we grow tired and weary, God gave us a choice-
we have doctor's and care, but our pets have no voice.
We may understand why we're changing this way,
but a creature's language is shown in his actions each day.

What they do with their bodies, how they act towards a friend-
is their way of saying their time's at an end.
And, as wonderful a gift as our "Free Will" can be,
It pains us to choose our loved pet's destiny.

When we see them in pain, our hearts say one thing-
when we see them lash out, we deny what truth rings.
For we don't want to lose the precious one that we've loved-
but like humans on earth they'll live on up above.

Oh. I know how you weep at making this choice-
as you speak for your pet as he has no voice.
You are kind, you are loving, and I know you have tried-
to ration and reason with the truth that's inside.

No one said life was easy, of this we can say-
and I know you're heart's breaking on this tragic day.
But, trust in your heart what your instincts have said-
That God is guiding you amongst all your dread.

I weep for you now as I know your heart aches-
but my love is with you as your decision you make.
God gave you the gift of some wonderful years-
with a pet who was healthy and healed many tears.

But now it's his time, for he's not the same pet-
and I say this with sadness, with tears and regret.
"For every thing there's a season," remember, and then,
"A place for every purpose, under Heaven."

Gentle Goodbye

How we treat one another often goes unnoticed. Our small acts of kindness effect others in very profound ways. Upon reading the feelings of one who lost her neighbor, and described her feelings of "not being there enough", etc., I was inspired to write this short poem for her. I will share it with you because I think it applies to all of us.

You were touched by a kind soul-
You touched hers just the same.
A smile without any words-
A face without any name.
These things, they matter not,
for in the end we see-
What makes our lives go on,
Is our loving memory.
So smile at those you see-
as your neighbor did to you.
Hold the door for one in need-
And it'll come back to you.
You gave to her the gift-
of your gentle, caring ways.
I'm sure that while in heaven
She'll remember those precious days.
When you passed her the hallway,
when you cared enough to say "hi".
You gave her more than you know;
Your love as a gentle goodbye.



Ms. DuBois, MA, has been published in Volume 2 of the inspirational book series "God Allows U-Turns," Barbour Publishing, (Promise Press) and has an ebook entitled "I Never Held You"- a book about miscarriage, growth and recovery, (DLSIJ Press), in which she openly shares her painful journey through miscarriage and the road to recovery. Ms. DuBois' account of her battle with anxiety will appear in "Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders" Success Stories, Strategies, and Other Good News, Hunterhouse Publishers, slated to be released in the fall of 2002. Her work appears in many Internet magazines, she has been features in the National Association of Women Writers and her ebook is the featured book of Accomplished Women Writers. She resides in Massachusetts with her fiance and little companion Baron the dachshund.


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