Holiday Gift Giving Idea: Adapted
from Kim Lotz (and some commentary from Kara L.C. Jones)

Kimberly Lotz, a MISS Facilitator, sent this 12 Days of Christmas idea around to our facilitator list. I (Kara) was so intrigued that I asked Kim for her permission to re-print part of her message and the idea - though a bit adapted - here at KotaPress. This was Kim's note:

...It's the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' and the idea is to secretly leave someone who has lost a child or a loved one a gift each day of Christmas with a special note. Depending on who you are giving it to you can change the words on the notes to reflect the loss of a baby, older child, or even an adult. And depending on if you are reglious or not you can use the bible verses or drop them all together...

So the original idea is listed below including text for the "secret gift giver's note," and idea for what gift to give, and a Bible verse. But PLEASE NOTE:

I do believe that this idea can work at the holiday time for

If you are Jewish, then make it a Hanukkah gift giving. If you practice Kwanzza, then make this a gift giving for your celebrations. If you are a seasonal worshipper and practice ritual for Winter Solstice, then make this your own organic gift giving. Whatever you are, make this idea one that is about supporting a bereaved parent -- don't make it an argument about religion, okay? Here goes:


There are twelve days til Christmas, and I'm sending you this card
To tell you that I understand that this year may be hard.
Someone who cares wants to help a little bit
And share a little joy and some Christmas spirit.
So count down the days until Christmas with me.
We'll start with twelve: Here's something for your tree.

(Included with this one could be an ornament.)

Bible verse: "Come to me, all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Mathew 11:28



Eleven days til Christmas and we think it's only right
To chase away the shadows with a little candlelight.
So light this one with love just to make the season bright.

(Included with this one could be festive holiday pillar candle and holly ring.)

Bible verse: "If I say "surely the darkness will overwhelm me and all around me is night" Even the darkness is light to Thee and the night is as bright as the day." Psalm 139: 11-12



Ten days til Christmas, these are chestnuts, you know.
You may not have a fireplace, sleighbells or even snow,
But eat these together and share the Christmas glow.

(Included in this package will be hot roasted chestnuts.)

Bible verse: "I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord. "Plans for welfare and not calamity, to give you a future and hope.. Then you will call upon me and come to pray to me and I will listen to you, and you will seek me and find me when you search with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13



Nine days left til Christmas,and here's a Christmas song.
Crank up the volume and you can't go wrong.!
To fill your heart with gladness, why don't you sing along?

(Included with this one could be an audio cassette of Christmas music.)

Bible verse: "My voice rises to God and he hears me, in the day of my trouble I sought the soul refused to be comforted...but thou art the God who works wonders." Psalms 77: 1, 2 &14



Eight days til Christmas, do you hear the jingle bells?
It's time to fill your home with some lovely Christmas smells.
So burn this tonight and sing some Noels.

(Included with this one is a potpourri burner and a bag of potpourri.)

Bible verse: "Walk in love, just as Christ loved you and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God, a fragrant aroma." Ephesians 5:2



With seven days til Christmas, we share with you a treat...
Stars from the heavens in a baske! t at your feet.
These stars don't twinkle, but they are good to eat!

(Included with this, a basket of star shaped cookies.)

Bible verse: "He counts the number of the stars and gives names to all of them." (Psalm 147:4) or "For thou didst form my inward parts, and weave me in my mother's womb. My frame was not hidden from thee when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance and in thy book they all were written, the days that were ordained for me when as yet there was not one of them." Psalm 139: 13,15,16



There are six days til Christmas and we send this angel bear
To say that we remember and to let you know we care,
And your little one in heaven is watching from up there!

(Included with this one is a stuffed bear with halo and wings.)

Bible verse: "The peace of God, which surpasses all compr! ehension, shall guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." Phillippians 4:7



With just five days left to Christmas, it's time to bake a bit.
It's not that much trouble with this handy little kit.
So mix it up and bake it up and eat up all of it!

(Included with this is some homemade cookie mix, layered in a pretty jar.)

Bible verse: "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13



Now just four days left to Christmas, so find a quiet nook
And curl up and read this little book.
Others feel just like you do....
Go on and take a look!

(Included in this one will be a book....either An Empty Cradle, A full Heart or Dear Cheyenne or Mrs. Duck and The Woman or Flash of Life or any grief book.)

Bible verse: "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comf! orted." Matthew 5:4



Only three days left til Christmas and I bring this plant to you
A Christmas poinsettia with colors bright and true
To share the joy of Christmas with someone who's feeling blue.

(Included with this, a red poinsettia plant.)

Bible verse: "For nothing is hidden but to be revealed, nor has anything been secret but that it shall come to light." Mark 4:22



With just two days left to Christmas, not much time remains.
Stir up some hot chocolate and eat these candy canes
And think about the reason that Our Savior came.

(Included with this is a box of candy canes and a package of hot cocoa mix.)

Bible verse: For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send His son to judge the world, but that the world would be saved through Him. John 3:16-17



It's the last day before Christmas and this last message I bring
To celebrate the birth of our Savior and King.
He offers love and peace that passes understanding.

(Included with this is a small nativity, and the Christmas story printed out on pretty paper.)

Bible verse: "See? I have not forgotten you. I have carved you on the palm of my hand." Isaiah 49:15

Editor's Note: Please feel free to take this idea and adapt it for any religious or spiritual beliefs you or other bereaved parents may have!!!!! It isn't about the "christianity" -- it's about offering support at these most difficult holiday times! This is a great idea for that. Use it to work within whatever framework you wish!!

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