My Life is a Bit Like Star Trek...

By Peg Rousar-Thompson

One day in conversation, a good friend of mine confessed that many of her ideas about religion came from watching Star Trek. This made me tune in to that program, but with "new eyes". I've likened my life to being a little like The Twilight Zone on occasion, and compared my grief to living on Gilligan's Island. The truth is, it's much like Star Trek. Most of us bereaved parents feel like we are now inhabitants of another planet... bravely going where no man has gone before.

At a recent grief conference, I understood what it is like to be Counselor Troi. I walked into a large group of parents - and I could literally feel the pain in the room. My empath skills have become quite keen...

I envy Major Kira's faith in a supreme being. She seems so positive that there is something more to our lives, yet she wrestles with moral dilemmas and choices she's made.

And Jordy's vision. He views the universe differently, and has no need to change it. Given the option, would I? Of course, if with that vision came the return of my child. Until then, I am grateful for my clear view of our world.

Data, the android lacking the basic human emotions. He longs to become human, and I want only to warn him of the pain involved. Immense joy is followed by unbelievable pain - and at many points in my grief I longed to not feel anything.

I now know the motivation behind Odo's search for one of his own kind. As a shapeshifter that must revert to liquid form, we have much in common. I know his quest to search out one of my 'own', I know the urgency to which he returns to his pail every few hours to become liquid. My tears have the same effect.

Guinan is an El Aurian, a member of an ancient race who are reputed to be great listeners. Her kind is what I search for in my grief. I also see that I possess some of her traits, as I listen patiently to new parents. I wonder, if like the El Aurians, I will also be destined to live an incredibly long life.

The Borg are a bit like polite society, as I watch them through the window of my grief. They seem to go about their business, mindlessly, oblivious to me and my pain. They brush by me in the supermarket and only speak when-spoken-to in social situations. Was I once also part of the collective?

Worf, and the Klingon mentality, well, there's my son. Fight now, ask questions later. Brave in battle, loyal and true. Each time they announce "Today, is a GOOD day to die", I can't help but think of Ross.

And, oh, how I envy Jean Luc. Captain The Card, as Ross called him, has all the answers and can relay them in a single sentence. I wish I had his verbal abilities, his amazing thought process. I have, however, developed this fearless nature, his thirst for knowledge, and his acceptance of others. I have also taken one of his quotes and made it the backdrop for my life: "Sometimes you have to laugh at the absurd"

Copyright July 9th, 2000

Author Information
Peg Rousar-Thompson...
Ross' mom...
Grief Warehouse
Brighter Path Publishing

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