A Birthday Gift for Charles
My Dear Sweet Son,
I can't believe it's been two years since you surprised me with your birth. A birth not filled with happy tears and movement of your soft warm body, but a quiet and still birth. Your everlasting love fills my heart with warmth each and every day. I miss you with every second that goes by on the clock. There isn't a moment that I don't think of you. And, by every evening as the sun sets, I'm always yearning to hold you in my arms again.
I saw an old friend the other day, that I hadn't seen in about two years. She was pregnant during the same time I was with you. She had a little boy just one week before you were born. I saw her with her child, and I thought of how you would have grown into such an adorable little boy by age two just like her son. I found myself asking, "Why?" Why did you have to die? I'll never understand.
I want you to know Charles, that I will never forget you and I will always do things for you to keep your memory alive! Neo Fight and KotaPress have continued to help me channel my energy from depression to thinking on a more positive note. I truly feel that when something bad happens there's always good that comes out of it. When one door closes...a window opens. Even though you are not physically with me now, I know in my heart of hearts someday we will be together in heaven.
I feel somewhat guilty, because I thought I had the day off from work on your birthday. Unfortunately, I found out today that I can't have the sixth of November off. I'm sorry, son. Even though I'll be at work, you will be with me in spirit. Of course, I will also wear my heart locket with your photo in it. I plan to place some mums and light two candles by your urn in my room after work on November 6th. I will enjoy a peaceful evening at home writing to you in my journal. I'll keep your teddy bears close to me throughout the night. And the day after your birthday, I will spend the afternoon working on the completion of your memory book. I can't wait to show it off at the next Neo Fight meeting the following week! These are my gifts to you son...keeping you in my heart, always!
My birthday wish for you my sweet angel is that you are a happy and free spirit at peace. I hope you are having fun in heaven playing with other angel babies.
Give my love and hugs to Michie's son, Kara's son, Kathy's sons and Christine's sons and all my other friends that have lost their babies. You will always be my shining star, Charles! I love you with every bit of my soul forever and always!