Duck and The Woman
The result of that writing is the book Mrs. Duck and The Woman. Other than changing the gender of the deceased child in the story so that any parent could identify with it, the story is pretty much exactly as I "free wrote" it that day. The "literary" folks in my life don't believe me when I tell them that, but I swear it is true.
This is a story of how to put one foot in front of the other and just keep living in the honor and memory of your child -- even in the middle of the overwhelming pain. A good starting place for helping parents see that they can still be parents, still have their children making a difference in this world, even after death.
This book includes photos of me when pregnant AND a photo of my son after his birth. It is a helpful way to share the insight with professionals, friends, and family -- even those who are currently expecting and may encounter something similar to our stillbirth -- that the baby is a baby who is beautiful and looks as though he were sleeping. When my time came to be with my son, I didn't hold him because I was afraid he'd look like "death" (whatever that looks like) -- so I really recommend the sharing of photos of our stillborns to make them real and not-at-all-scary to people.
The pregnancy story is included here as a way of making the reader have an investment in the "character" in the story who dies half way through the narrative. But tender, grieving parents may want to skip that and go straight to the grief poems for a look at one family's navigation through life after child death.
At the back of the book, we've included a resource guide for finding online and offline support. These are all supports that we have checked out, used, or had some contact with over the years. I've done my best to make sure they are safe and positive supports.
Kind of Parenting: zine
for parents whose children
This is a quarterly, print zine that is available in single copy for $2 or by subscription for $8/year. It includes helpful articles, reviews, and memorials. While I often write all the contributions, we do sometimes get guest contributors - and I'm always open to more! - who offer articles about a range of issues specific to bereaved parents. We cover everything from keeping your child's memory honored during family holidays to self care and being gentle with yourself on the dark days -- from perspectives on grief over many years (decades) to the personality of grief support groups. Sometimes we have book or film reviews on items that address child death in some way.
Every issue is different. Every issue is about parenthood after the death of a child. Every issue is offered with resource & support in mind and heart.
always, be in touch if we can be of
help or services in some way!