I Lost Something
Can you help me find it?

for Jason Michael
August 29, 2000

By Cathy Gonzalez

I lost a child
A small baby
He was once inside
But now he's gone

I lost a part of me
That can never be replaced
But the worse is
I can't find him

He was once a fetus
A baby to me
But when the miscarriage
took him away
To you he became some waste

I lost these pieces
They're somewhere here
On slides, in jars
Could be anywhere

But for some strange reason
You don't seem to care
That I'm out here
Looking for these

You see I lost something
That means a lot to me
I need to bury him
In the ground and know
he's fine

I don't want to know
he's in the trash or
was burned in the waste
I want to know he's tucked inside
somewhere clean, and warm
A place I can visit

So what I ask of all of you
Is open your eyes
Change your laws,
Change your policies,
Change your practices
Give me a chance to speak

Let me tell you what I want done
Don't make the choice for me

And help me find
what I have lost
A child, a baby
A part of me

Understand I lost something
Only you can
help me find!

Remember I lost something
Can you help me find it?

Dedicated in memory to my beloved Jason Michael who I lost on August 29, 2000 and to his brother Kennedy who has given me the will to go on and has become my link to life.

This poem, "I lost something. Can you help me find it," was written out of the
frustration of not having closure and being repeatedly lied to about his remains. It worked I have him now and he will be buried Sunday. His due date was yesterday and it was very hard planning his funeral and placing his slides in the little coffin.


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